0300 hours saturday morning: i finish a double shift at the bar and get home to my packed bags waiting for me at my place. i do a 180 back out the door down to roseberry taxi stand were we get a taxi 1/4 mile down the road to farringdon station. the cabbie charges £5 ($10) for a £1 journey. after we are dropped off that the farringdon station i take out our train tickets to gatwick. the same tickets i bought at the ticket station a day before for £18 ($36) from the ticket guy who said there’d be a train leaving from farringdon to gatwick at 03:19. this was not the case. we found the station totally shutdown and gated up. so we had to call the cabbie back up and pay £50 ($100) for him to take us to the airport. he drove like a bat out of hell all the way there (even though we had plenty of time) so when we finally go there we practically feel out of the zippy little toyota.
after check-in we did some shopping at duty-free and had some food. the easyjet flight boarded and the flight was short and sweet with a good landing. we arrived at malpansa airport which was dirty and crowded. packed onto a bus for the 50 min ride through the funky industrial wasteland that is outter milan. as we neared the city it got worse. we passed through long brown avenues that stretched as far as the eye could see and passed row after row of graffiti covered dirty public housing. almost every billboard had a 90% naked woman on it advertising everything from mobile phones to olive oil. all major streets had prosaic trolley cars from the turn of the century. while all other euro cities now have futuristic trams that look like more space crafts than trollies milan still has pre wwII shoeboxes on wheels powered by a messy net of thick cables overhead. it was like the entire city was under a fishnet stocking. the mean looking cabbie took us to the intersection of our hotel and dropped us off. it still took us 10 minutes to find the best western wading through crowded streets with all of our luggage.
when we finally found the hotel we checked in and walked up to the fourth floor to our tiny dark room that had a view of the alleyway behind the building. i took a long shower and changed clothes then got onto the internet to order a flight back to London. there was no way i was spending £151 per night at a junky-still-under-construction best western with no gym, spa, or pool in a closet of a room that overlooked a alley where old ladies hung their bloomers out to dry.
i found it was cheaper to buy one-way tix from ryan air than to change the easyjet tix. the catch was that the flight left at 6am so we’d have to do the 3am shuffle all over again. whatever, as long as i was getting outta dodge that was fine. we decided to take a walk around town to find a good place to eat. we had paninis and gelatos then looked in a shoe store and strolled in a dirty public park where huge piles of dog/people crap covered the tiny patches of clumpy uncut grass with shady young italian/gypsies lurking about. we got back to the hotel and sat around watching cnn euro until falling into a restless sleep until jarred out of bed at 3am with our wake-up call.
we caught a cab back to the train station and another dirty bus to bergamo. we were both hungry so i went to get us some coffee and pastries but to my dismay found that i only had a 100 euro note which is completely useless. every cashier i presented it to reacted the same as if i had presented them with a handfull of feces. each cashier stood back in horror and spit out a long distressed string of italian adjectives and adverbs proclaiming ‘how dare you come up and try to pay with a 100 euro note!!!’ so we just sat at the gate hungry in a mob of chattering schoolgirls and gypsies. we where then bused to the ryanair flying schoolbus where the chattering schoolgirls screamed, laughed, and giggled the entire way to stanstead.
upon arrival the clean and modern stanstead airport was a sight for sore eyes. we took the express train to liverpool st establishing a little normalcy to life. we then walked back to our flat from farringdon station and are now just trying to forget what an awful trip we just had. i think i need a another 5 months to recover spiritually, emotionally, physically, and financially before i go on another ‘vacation’.
the breakdown:
there:
plane tix lndn £90
train tix to gatwick lndn £18
cabb tix to gatwick lndn £50
bus tix from malpansa to milan £20
cab tix from trains station to hotel £2
hotel room milan £151
…and back
wireless internet to buy tix £5
cab tix hotel to train station £6
bus tix from milan to bergamo £12
plane tix bergamo to stanstead £90
train from stanstead to london £30
tube from liverpool to farringdon £12
£486 travel
£80 food
£566 or $1,100 for an exhausting trip to a shit-pit. money well spent.